Clock
by nesza
Summary: Having cheated time, retaining your exceptional skills and being armed with the knowledge of the future, you'd think you have all the advantage. Unfortunately, Cloud didn't know better. Cleris
1. Church

**Disclaimer:** I do not own FF7 or any of the mentioned characters.

This fic will contain around 10 chapters and the first few chapters are thick with fluff, but no worries non-fluff lovers, the fluff will eventually subside as the story progresses. Cloud is just overwhelmed with emotions at the start because of the excitement of being reunited with Aeris.

This chapter is fluff spelled in different ways. If you don't like fluff, click the back button somewhere up there. This fic is inspired by one of Lyaka's works where one character found a way to go back through time and try to change his fate with the knowledge of the future.

I hope you'll enjoy reading this fic. And I sure do hope you'll leave a review afterwards.

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**CLOCK**

**Chapter 1: Church **

I am holding on to a scrap of metal now, holding on for dear life. This is where it all starts, right? This is where my foolish dreams end and where my life begins.

The Airbuster has exploded and I have fallen through the crack. I find no point in holding on because I'd eventually come cascading down. I know. Of course, I know. I've been through this before. I've gone through every little detail. This is where our paths cross.

"Stop talkin' like this is the end!" I tell Barret. I wonder if this is what I told him before. It had been a long time yet I'm here again, holding on, waiting to fall.

This is not the end. This is the beginning.

My hand slips. I'm falling, I'm falling now. But I'm not afraid. I'll fall right into you, won't I? You'd be there to wake me up. I know how it will go. I've been here almost three years ago.

My eyes flutter closed and I dream of you. Will you smile at me like you did before? How I wish you would. Will you ask me to protect you? I'll do a better job this time. Exactly one date, right? Maybe I'd ask for two.

I wait patiently for I know when I wake it's you I'll see. Had I known there is a way, I would have done this long ago. And I would have smiled a lot more.

"Oh! He moved!"

Is that you, Aeris?

Is that really _you_?

I hear your voice and my heart pounds violently against my chest. I debate whether I should tell you of tomorrow and the days after that. Should I tell you that you'd love me but die in my arms? Should I tell you that I care just as much, or perhaps even more, that's why I'm back, defying the sacred laws of time just to be with you?

"Hello?"

Just wait, Aeris. I'll open my eyes and we'll be together from now on.

"Hello!"

I open my eyes and there you are, kneeling beside me with that worried look on your face. Your green eyes lock with mine and I have to fight the urge to pull you down and brush your lips to mine.

So, we meet again…

"You okay?" you ask.

Of course I am. Now, I am. I've been ill before, you see. But that's all in the past. No, that is all in the future. It would just never be the same without you. But you're here now and so am I and everything will be alright.

You stand and I sit up. I want to pull you next to me but I know I can't do that. For right now I am just a stranger who crashed into your flowerbed, not yet the man you love. For right now you are just a mere flower girl from the slums, not yet the woman I desperately love.

For you this is all just an accident but for me this is fate. For me, this is life. My clearest memory of you. My second chance.

I'll do it right. _This time…_

"This is a church in the Sector 5 slums. You suddenly fell on top of me. You really gave me quite a scare." You say with a hint of laughter in your voice.

I should say I'm sorry, but I'm really not. I'll climb up and fall down all over again if I need to just so you'll walk away from this church with me. And you've got every reason to be scared, Aeris. This is where our fate starts to change. And I'm scared just as much.

"...I came crashing down?" I ask.

Of course I know that. I know the answer but I ask it anyway. This is how this meeting is supposed to go.

"The roof and the flower bed must have broken your fall. You're lucky."

I nod. You have no idea how true your words are and will be. You have no idea that you'll save me and the rest of the planet. You do not know yet about AVALANCHE and the many friends we'll meet along the way. You do not know about the confused man you'll ask to be your bodyguard who will fail you in the end. But I promise I'll do better now. I'm not that broken anymore. Ask me to guard you again and I'll protect you with my life.

Ask me once and I'll love you forever and a day.

I stand up and brush myself. You scan my profile again and I inwardly smile. Take a good look, Aeris, you're going to be stuck with me for a long time.

"This flower bed, it's yours, right?" It is a statement more than a question. My voice is just a bit louder than a whisper. "Resilient flowers. They say you can't grow grass and flowers in Midgar but they have no trouble blooming here." I recite your line from my heart's memory. How can I ever forget my beloved's words?

I steal your lines and you look at me strangely. There is something in the way your mouth opens that looks so inviting. I wonder why I didn't kiss those lips before.

You look a bit wary and very much confused. "I love it here…"

And I love you. But you're not supposed to know that. Not yet.

I loved you then but realized it too late. I won't make the same mistake, you see, for now I know love when I feel it. I know it in the way my heart beats, in the way I want to see your smile, in the way I came back just to be with you.

In time, I will tell you. I'll tell you when you realize you love me too.

"Do I…Do I know you…from before?" you ask, trying to piece everything together.

I'm sorry. It is all my fault that we have stirred from the script. You're not supposed to be the confused one here. You're supposed to feel everything I could not say; see that there is someone else behind my act. You saw a man struggling behind Zack before, but I'm different now.

Tell me, Aeris, what do you see now?

I shake my head. "No. But we've met before. Don't you remember me?" I lead us back to our original conversation. You are the one who is supposed to ask me that, but it doesn't matter as long as it gets said. Just like it doesn't matter that I neither know how or why you make me feel this way.

"You bought a flower," you smile and, shyly, I do too. "You remembered. Thanks for buying my flowers."

And we're back to how it went. You talk about your materia and tell me your name. I tell you my name is Cloud and that I'm a jack of all trades. You're laughing now and all the while all I can think about is the future ahead of us.

I have a lot planned out for us, Aeris. I'll do what I can to make it work. You do not need to search for me this time for I'll show you who I am. I'll meet you the way you wanted to meet me. I'll show you the world like you've never seen it before.

And I'll make you promise never to go anywhere by yourself. I'll tie your arm to mine if I have to. You'll live past the lifetime you are bound to have, Aeris. I'll do whatever is in my power to make sure of that.

Then you're going to be the hero of this story, and I'll be by your side.

"Say, Cloud. Have you ever been a bodyguard? You DO do everything, right?"

"Yeah, that's right." I nod.

"Then, get me out of here. Take me home."

I'll take you home then we'll save the world. Together. And someday I'll take you home with me. I'll kiss you senseless at night and you'll take me in your arms. I'll come home to a lovely little home and find you waiting with open arms.

You're going to marry me someday, Aeris Gainsborough. Just you wait.

"OK, I'll do it... but it'll cost you."

You could say you'll love me and I'll do everything you ask.

"Well then, let's see..." You think for a couple of seconds and I wait for the answer I know would come. "How about if I go out with you once?"

I nod. I wonder why I agreed the first time. Could it have been your irresistible charm? You make me breathless by just breathing, Aeris. I wonder if you're aware of that.

I take your hand and you look at me with confused eyes. "Let's go then," I tell you with a smile as if I'm not doing anything strange at all. One day, Aeris, you'll understand that this is how it is supposed to go. You look hesitant for a moment and you almost take your hand off. You see the shadows move and you hold on tighter. The shadows are after you but they're not the ones that you should fear. I call out your name and you look at me with eyes of beautiful green. You nod and with a tug at your hand, I walk you home.

We're going to have a lifetime, Aeris. Then after that we'll have forever.

A Cetra and her bodyguard. We're going to do just fine.

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Cloud seemed a lot more confident here, well that's only because he is still hopeful and excited about the idea of changing everything. And after all, he had plenty of time to think and assess what he had done wrong and plan ahead. I hope you enjoyed reading it and don't forget to leave a review. 


	2. Shore

**Disclaimer:** I do not own ff7 or AC.

Another chapter of fluff overload. I know that subtlety and uncertainty is the most interesting and powerful stage of love but I don't think I can be subtle in this fic. After all, one character has already resisted the powers of time just so he can be with the one he loves. I think that alone gives away the depth of the feelings.

This particular chapter is thick with fluff. Read at your own risk.

This is written in Aeris' perspective.

Anyway, I hope you will enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. And yes, reviews will be very much appreciated.

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**Chapter 2: Shore**

How many weeks has it been since my world has changed? I look at the skies and still I feel awe at the marvellous blanket of blue. I have seen the sky before when I was young but it was never like this. It was never this beautiful and never this special. Are my eyes just fooling me or is it because I've been so used to seeing a plate instead of a sky?

The sea meets the shore in overlapping waves. It sounds beautiful and calming and I don't think I have ever heard it before. Costa del Sol is such a beautiful place. I want to stay here for a bit longer. I wonder, if I ask you, will you let the gang stay a few more days?

We all need some rest._ I_ need rest. I need to think and refocus and plan ahead. I'm learning so much now and I am beginning to doubt if I can cope. I have responsibilities and burdens all of my own. What can one mere flower vendor do when entrusted such responsibilities?

How can I even begin to understand the planet's desires when thoughts of _you_ keep running in my head?

"I thought I told you never to go anywhere alone."

I turn around and I see you. Always very protective of me, Cloud, I see. Don't you know I can walk seventy-eight steps from the hotel to the beach without anything happening?

I apologize for making you worry yet again. You always worry about me. You worry too much. I know you're getting tired. Why don't you just try to sit back and watch the rest of us fight for this planet once in a while?

"It's late, you shouldn't be out here. You should go back," you tell me.

"But I can't sleep."

I can't sleep because of all the thoughts muddled in my head. Because of the many things I have to do, decisions I have to make. Because I, alone, can hear the planet weep and with this gift I am both powerful and helpless. And lately I cannot sleep without you in my dreams. What have you done to these thoughts of mine? Tell me why it makes me shiver just thinking of us?

You stand beside me and suddenly the cool sea breeze turns warm.

"You don't have to be worried of tomorrow, Aeris. Whatever will happen, I assure you you're—everyone's going to be just fine."

I do not question your knowledge of tomorrow. You know everything, Cloud, and I won't be surprised if you also know my past. It is unfair that you have such knowledge but not as much as it is unfair that I can't help but feel these emotions in my chest. I wonder if I try and resist these feelings, can I win in the end?

"You always make tomorrow seem alright. Tell me, Cloud, why do you know so much?"

You stuff your hands in your pockets and shrug. Is that a smile I see in the dark? Is that one of your rare smiles I love to see so much?

"I don't know much," you say. "All I know is that I'll do everything just so you'll be alright."

I feel you're lying and saying the truth at the same time. I dare not question further for I fear the truth that might come out. You can tell me what you want, Cloud, I'll believe you no matter what.

"You don't need to always protect me. I have my trustee staff here with me," I laugh as I show you my beloved Aurora Rod. It will protect me from harm just like you will protect me from the danger that is to come.

I know. I sense the things you do not tell me. You've been some place before; you've seen the future and so many things in life. You came back and I wonder the reason why.

Time waits for no one but it waited for you. With these thoughts I shiver as I stand next to you. Who are you, Cloud, that time bows down before you, humbled and meek and at your service? Who am I, Cloud, that you would want to spend precious time with me, caring and protective and at my service?

"I know. It's just that…" you turn to me and my breath stills within. Your eyes hold so much power over me. With just your stare I can hear buzzes in my head. Those beautiful eyes are both awkward and strong. They are the color of skies and oceans and of depths I cannot fathom.

Suddenly, for a reason I could never comprehend, something has changed in your eyes. I wish you wouldn't look at me that way yet I wish you will _always_ look at me that way. The seriousness scares me but not as much as the other emotions in those crystals. With just the waves of emotions in those blue eyes I could drown.

_Drowning._ With no air in my lungs. Helpless and vulnerable and utterly mad.

Your hand on my shoulder is your heart reaching out. You've always wanted to tell me before but you feel like the timing is never right. You've always wanted to show me before but there's no need, Cloud…_I already know._

"It's just that I…" your voice is only above a whisper yet I hear it loud and clear. But how is it that I can hear it when the drums in my heart and the pounding in my ears won't even let me hear?

You lean closer and my toes curl in the sand. You lean closer still and with it you freeze my sense of time. We are all alone in this stretch of sand with waves crashing to the shore and stars sprinkled in the sky. Tell me, Cloud, how can I not want to kiss you when everything is perfect and your timing is right?

I close my eyes and your soft lips are on mine. The emotion is overwhelming and very much addictive. The palpitations I feel are enough to kill but I don't mind.

Your kiss is intoxicating and I fly to the moon and back, only I fly with sand between my toes and I am wrapped in your strong arms. And with thoughts of you, me, and the moon above, I part my lips and return the kiss.

My hand on your chest is my heart reaching out. I love you, Cloud, I wonder if you're aware of that. Everything else fades as your grip tightens and I find myself in your arms.

Kiss me, Cloud, and show me that you'll always be here. Make me believe that us together is the only way it should be. Tell my heart not to fear and I'll tell you everything you could not say. Love me for reasons you do not know and cannot understand and I will love you for everything and nothing and all that comes between.

Seconds stretch to infinity and I find myself breathless and giddy and what a wonderful feeling it is!

We part and already I miss those lips. I breathe air again but now things have changed and I realize I've already drowned.

_Drowned. _With no need for the air in my lungs. Helpless, beyond vulnerable, and madly in love.

You press your forehead to mine and whisper words of undying love. You take my hand and put it over your chest. I feel your heartbeat and suddenly the world is in my hand.

"I believe you," I whisper back. I believe you for I feel just as much.

My heart strains in my chest and my brain is still all muddled up but this time it is I who kisses my love.

Your lips on my lips is your soul reaching out.

My lips on yours is love eternal.

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Choked on fluff yet? If not, then I congratulate you for your high fluff tolerance.

Hope you'll find the time to leave a review.


	3. Desert

**Disclaimer:** I do not own ff7 or any of the characters mentioned.

**A/N:** Consider these things before you read the chapter: 1. Cloud no longer pretends to be Zack this time, he may still have some of Zack's habits (like way of walking, etc) but he's trying his best to reveal his true self to Aeris. 2. He didn't tell AVALANCHE about the story of Nibelheim…yet. 3. Materia orbs are small like the one in Aeris' hair, and can fit into little slots.

This chapter is written in Cloud's and Aeris' perspectives. Everything written under Cloud's name is his thoughts. Everything written under Aeris' name is her thoughts. Read and review!

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**Chapter 3: Desert**

**Cloud:**

It has been more than a month since I returned. Again, we are traversing this desert to get to Cosmo Canyon. I'm driving this buggy again and I notice it is one of the experiences I have never realized I've been missing. I look through the windshield. I squint, tilt my head, then squint some more. I can neither see what is in front nor what is behind. Sand is everywhere, flying and blurring visions of this late afternoon. What peaks my interest though is that we never encountered a sandstorm before.

"It's a sandstorm, we're staying here," I say.

Barret began cursing and numerous sighs from my passengers behind follow.

"I knew it, you slowpoke! If you just let me drive then we would have actually gone far before this sandstorm hit," Yuffie grumbles. That kid is never one to keep her thoughts unsaid.

"You don't have a license," I tell her.

"And neither do you!" she shouts back. I need not enquire further how she got that information for I am pretty sure she has gone through all our things while we have been sleeping. Although I want to let her know that I am aware of her less than noble deeds and desires, I decide to let her off the hook for a while and just settle with a shrug.

"It looks like it's going to go on for hours," Tifa says.

"Let's just try to make ourselves comfortable," I hear you say.

Comfortable? I've got ideas what comfortable is, and that includes you, me and a cushioned seat. I angle the rearview mirror slightly to your side. Our eyes meet in the process and I couldn't help but smile.

"What are you so happy about, spike?" Barret interrupts our moment. "We're stuck here for hours in a cramped buggy and there you are all smiling. Something happened you wanna tell us about?"

What am I smiling about? The woman I love also loves me, and for that reason alone I will smile all I want.

I suppress my smile like a child caught red-handed. I look at you again through the mirror and I see you glaring at me for being too obvious. I do not understand why you prefer to keep it a secret when I think it's so noticeable that every second we're together, sparks are flying everywhere. Don't you realize that the only thing missing is my heart jumping off my chest to the floor, showing everyone that your name is carved in it?

"I remembered something funny," I tell him to cover up. It's not much, but I am never really a man who likes to digress.

Barret is still staring with doubt in his eyes. An awkward situation follows and I know everyone in the buggy has something in mind. I try to act casual but there is nothing I can do about my traitorous blush.

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**Aeris**

Oh Cloud, you really are captain obvious. You rarely smile yet you're smiling now at such a wrong time. Everyone is pissed about the situation we are in; can't you just pretend you feel the same about it?

Your blush is already revealing so much. You might just as well have kissed me inside this buggy right now.

I know I'm asking so much from you by asking you not to be vocal about it, but try to understand that the world doesn't consist of only you and me. Some will get shocked, while some pretty much saw it coming. But there's one lady who will feel pain upon knowing.

It is not only your feelings I can sense and it is not only our feelings that matter. Until she is ready, we cannot just go singing about the way we make each other's hearts flutter.

"Where do you suppose we're going?" Tifa is the one to help you out of the situation.

"I know some place by the desert. I think we can stay there for the night," Red suggests.

"Good then, I'm not sleeping in this vehicle," Yuffie crosses her arms and stares out the window. Staring at what? I'll never know.

I see you recline comfortably on the driver's chair and cross your arms. "We'll go as soon as the storm slows down." Your eyes travel towards the mirror again and this time it is I who cannot help but smile.

Three hours later, we are at Cosmo Canyon and talking with Bugenhagen. He has something to show us about the planet and the lifestream, he says. He might have some of the answers we are looking for. I turn to you and notice you do not seem to be pleased at all with the prospect of learning what he has to say. Why, Cloud? Do you already have the knowledge that the elder wishes to impart?

As the planet, round and brilliant, moves in space, my eyes widen and my jaw drops at the magnificence the replica was able to display. Lights and stars fill the room, colors of red, green and blue. The planet is the epitome of beauty and grace, yet it is fragile and weak. Everyday I hear it beg and cry for the continuation of its existence. I am entrusted with a task I do not know if I can ever do. I am a descendant of a race I did not have the chance to choose.

What do I do? What do I say? Who do I turn to if I'm the last one of my race?

As the show turns to an end, I look your way and see you've found an object of interest. You always blush or turn away when I catch you staring but now you don't and I am glad for it. Your stare gives me comfort; your eyes make me feel safe. For a few more seconds before the lights open, I say a silent prayer thanking Heavens for bringing you to my church.

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**Cloud:**

You have no idea how much it pains me to see you worried like this. I walk towards the Cosmo Candle and I see you deep in thought and very much worried. I am not used to seeing you like this. You should be cheerful and happy and smiling. You're tired, Aeris, I know…but hang on a little longer and I will try and make everything better.

I talk to you and you look at me with those sad emerald eyes. "I learned a lot. The elders taught me many things about the Cetra... and the Promised Land..."

You look down and I feel my spirit sink even deeper.

"I'm... alone... I'm all alone now..." you bite your lip.

"But I'm... we're here for you, right?"

_I'm here for you._

I have told you once, I'm telling you again. Even before when I was lost and unable to realize that I love you, I already wanted to be there for you. Now, that desire to protect you has grown a hundredfold and I'll go crazy if I don't.

"I know. I know, but... I am the only... Cetra. The last one of my race."

Then I'll make sure you're not. Haven't I told you before of my dreams of a church wedding and a bouncing baby boy? Hold on a little longer, before long, after this war is over, we'll have our very own little Cetra and we'll have our hands full not with swords and staffs but diapers and pillows.

"Does that mean we can't help?"

You sigh. "I don't know."

Curse Sephiroth to eternal damnation. Curse man and his wicked ways. It isn't your fault that you are now carrying such burdens. Now, you are an angel nursing a broken wing when you could be so much more. Where have your smiles gone to? Why aren't they here when I need them so I can be strong for you?

I look at the Cosmo Candle burning brightly on the ground. I look at the faces of our friends, all tainted with worry, uncertainty and ugly memories. I want to tell them that everything will be alright, but I know I couldn't for I know that everything will not be fine. People will be lost, life will be sacrificed. I want to tell them that in the end, they will live and survive…and that it is you, the cheerful optimistic one that they should be worried for.

I came from the future and challenged time yet I wasn't able to do anything to save them from this. They lost cities and people they love, I could have prevented some of their losses but I chose not to. All because I was being careful…because in the end, I want to save you. Because when I was given the chance to come back, all I could ever think about was saving you…only you.

I am so sorry that I am powerless when it comes to this.

"This is enough," I whisper.

"Enough!" Heads were raised, angled to look at my angry form.

"I have lost so much already and I know you all did too...but what's the use of wallowing when we can fight?" I say as I turn towards the bonfire. "Sephiroth killed and burned my hometown and I wasn't able to do anything about it. We lost many people in sector seven, including Biggs, Wedge and Jessie. We tried; Tifa, Barret and I tried but we didn't succeed. And in some twisted way, their bloods are in our hands."

I see Tifa's gaze drop.

"Barret lost his town to ShinRa, Yuffie's people lost their will to fight. Red lost his parents and Aeris lost every single one of her kind. We blame circumstances and other people for these losses. And when the day is about to end, it becomes worse, we blame ourselves for it. But that is understandable for we've been weak before. We're stronger now, can't you see? Together we can do so much. Let's not lose our hope now even if we don't have all the answers. We're strong, we can fight it out together. In the end, believe me, no matter how impossible it may seem, we…we'll get much closer to our desires."

Gods might smite me down for revealing that I know so much but I couldn't just sit here, for the second time, and see my friends lose hope and falter.

All eyes are on me and I return each gaze with steel determination. Yuffie is looking at me with puzzled eyes.

_I'm sorry, __Yuffie__, you never told me about your people but I know for I met them before…one lifetime away._

I see Tifa's eyes welling with tears and suddenly I feel sorry for reopening wounds that have been momentarily forgotten. She's confused and burdened with guilt. How can fate be so cruel to her and take away almost every person she cares for? All she wants is a family...and every family she has gets taken away.

"Cloud…"

* * *

**Aeris**

Cloud, Cloud, Cloud…

Do you belong to the future, the present or the past? My heart tells me it doesn't matter for you belong with me. I trust you when you tell me you're here for me. You and the rest of our friends are the only ones that keep me going. I trust you but there are times when I cannot help but wallow. There are times when I cannot help but feel alone.

"Cloud…" Tifa says.

Tears are falling down her cheeks, triggered by a memory she'd rather not think about. Before long, pain has twisted her face but this pain goes a lot deeper than wounds for it is coupled with guilt. She immediately covers her face with her hands. "I'm sorry, I have to go," she stands and a second after, she's running away.

I turn to you and already you're standing and ready to follow. Barret stops you and tells you to let her be for a while. She needs to think and to sort her feelings. It is never easy to talk about pain and loss out loud. You nod and reassume your place near the bonfire.

A small sharing of thoughts and memories follow and before long, everyone else is off to some place with Nanaki and his grandfather.

It is only then that you move closer and before I can utter a word, you already beat me to it.

"I have something for you," you say.

You fish something out of your pocket and show me a bangle. You take my hand and slide the _edincoat_ to my wrist. Despite my worries, I smile.

"Once upon a time, a king ordered all his men to look for the strongest ore. He said it was to protect the most important thing of all. His wise advisers thought he wanted to build an impenetrable wall of defense. His high ranking soldiers thought that he wanted to make the strongest swords and weapons. But when the ore came, he ordered a forging of a bangle despite the protests of his soldiers and advisers. He gave the bangle to his queen and promised her that it will protect her from every danger that is to come," you say.

"I may not be a king, but I'm giving you this. It will protect you when I could not."

You turn it round to reveal eight materia slots. You take the materia orbs from the pouch beside you. You start sliding each into the slots.

"Fire is for the warmth you make me feel," you tell me as you slide the fire materia in. "Earth is for the planet that gave you to me. Restore is for the hope that you brought back. Destruct is for my barriers you were able to destroy. Heal is for every heart you were able to heal since you were young. Comet is for every shooting star we wished upon. All materia…because having you is like making my each and every wish come true...

"This last one is time," you say, putting it in place.

"What is time for?" I ask, looking into your eyes.

"Time is…time is for nothing. Just because I love you," you lean in to kiss the tip of my nose.

_Time…I know what time is for. Time is for this very moment I spend with you. _

If you are merely just trying to lift my sadness away then you have done the most wonderful job. It is beyond my dreams to fall in love. And with you, no less. I must have been a saint in another lifetime.

You intertwine our fingers then look away towards the fire. "One less thing to worry about."

I look at the bangle encircling my wrist and smile. I look at you and notice you are blushing and breathing nervously. Despite everything, you're still my shy and nervous Cloud, aren't you? I grin and then turn to stare at the fire.

Yeah, one less thing to worry about.

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Hopefully you enjoyed reading this chapter. Thanks for the reviews for the preceding chapters. You don't have an idea how glad I am for the feedbacks. 

Reviews will be appreciated and flames will be ignored.


	4. Street

**Disclaimer:** I do not own ff7 or anything closely related.

**A/N:** This chapter is written in Cloud's, Tifa's and Aeris' points of view. Each character is talking to his or her love interest. Cloud is talking to Aeris and vice versa. In Tifa's point of view, she's talking to Cloud.

Thank you for the reviews!

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**Chapter 4: Street**

**Cloud:**

The days are going fast and already we are in Nibelheim. I can see the base of Mt. Nibel from outside the inn and I cannot help but remember the Great Tragedy. No, it is not the burning of Nibelheim that keeps plaguing my mind. I am referring to the tragedy of the two young men left to die inside the Mt. Nibel Reactor only to be saved by a mad scientist and injected with something as abominable as cells from Jenova. Those two men would have been better off dead but fate had a different plan. It is twisted that these mountains are silent witnesses to my every failure and yet I still come back here.

We are in the middle of discussing plans when I interject that I have something important to let everybody know. I know they think I have been acting strange lately and for this reason, everyone turns quiet to hear what I have to say. My eyes look for you at their own accord. I see you and I am reminded of why I need to go through _this_ again. It's for our future, Aeris. For the future I want to spend with no one but you.

"I told you that Sephiroth burned this town five years ago but I never told you how I knew. This town was immediately rebuilt after it was burned down and the event was never put in any book and never reached any outsider's ears," I say.

"Get to the point, will ya?" Barret is impatient to get his much needed sleep.

"What I'm trying to say is that I witnessed the burning for I was here when Sephiroth went on a rampage and killed everyone."

I look at Tifa and she looks away. Perhaps she's trying to connect the pieces of the puzzle, trying to remember if I indeed was there. I wonder if perhaps this time, she will correct me if I weave a web of lies and deceit.

"I was here with Sephiroth, but not as a SOLDIER, for I never was," I tell everyone. "I'm sorry I lied before…I never remembered until recently the truth of my past. I came here as a mere ShinRa guard, hidden behind my helmet, ashamed to let everyone know that I failed. I couldn't pass SOLDIER, you see, for I'm far more troubled that I could ever guess."

A hand on my shoulder gives me strength to continue.

"Zack was the name of the SOLDIER with Sephiroth. He was the one in First Class, the one who used to carry the buster sword…not me," I say and I feel your hand slipping away. Yes, Aeris, he was your Zack, the one you loved before me, the one you cared enough to write eighty-nine letters for, the one you waited for but never returned.

I turn to you and I see confusion etched on your eyes. I'm sorry, Aeris, I couldn't tell you sooner.

I continue with what I have to say. "Zack was my friend. He was Sephiroth's partner for the mission. Five years ago, things that we cannot control happened. Sephiroth, after spending days inside the ShinRa mansion's library, started killing people and burning the town."

"Zack followed Sephiroth to the Mt. Nibel Reactor to stop him. I did too," I turn to Tifa. "However, when I arrived, I saw Tifa and Zack on the ground, bleeding to death."

Tifa lowers her gaze. I wonder if she could recall the pain. I wonder what she thought of when she was there, on the ground, passing in and out of consciousness.

"I was angry and so I came after Sephiroth. I stabbed him through the stomach…" As the words leave my mouth I feel a piece of the puzzle connecting. "I fought Sephiroth with thoughts of hatred and revenge. He destroyed my town, killed the people I love. I could never forgive him. I fought him and I barely survived the encounter, the last thing I remember is seeing Sephiroth fall before everything went black."

"Zack died?" you ask, lips trembling. Of course, you will ask about Zack first. I feel bitterness invade my mouth. With such a simple question, I feel strange inside.

Should I tell you how? Will you hate me if I tell you he died because I didn't do anything? Much like you died because I did the same…because I did nothing. _Nothing._

"I don't remember," I tell you a lie and I feel all the more guilty.

"He must have died. He came face to face with the Masamune-weilder after all," Cait Sith interjects. "No one survives the wrath of Sephiroth."

"But I lived…" Tifa murmurs.

"Someone must have come back to save you," I tell her. Her master came to save her, but I couldn't tell her that to avoid suspicion.

"How'bout you? What happened to you?" Barret asks.

I lived in a tank, became an experiment to become one of Sephiroth's clones. I was a failed experiment. No…scratch that. I was the most successful experiment. For that reason, I gave Sephiroth the black materia and caused the demise of everyone.

But such is a thing I could not tell anyone **yet**. I couldn't tell everyone I am partly a clone, that I have Jenova's cells within me, that I have become something so odious that sometimes I doubt if I am still human.

Aeris, what will you do the moment you learn I am capable of harming you? What will I do when one day I wake up from a trance to realize** I** have harmed you?

"I don't have an answer," I say. "Give me space and time to remember and I'll tell you at the right moment."

I spend the next ten minutes lying to our friends. I tell them only what I believe they should know at the moment. I keep to myself things that are both damaging and important. I can only hope what I am doing is right. For one wrong move, one wrong leak, then I may forever lose everything I came back for.

Several hours later, before I can drift to sleep, I hear a knock on the door and find Tifa standing behind it. "Cloud, can you spare a minute?" she asks.

I swallow hard. I know why she is standing at my doorway, she wants to talk, she wants the answers to her many questions. I nod and I wonder if I will have the strength to look at her when she begins to cry.

We walk towards the well, our well, the place where I made my promise. I will come for her when she's in trouble, I told her years ago. I came back, but I had been too late. I wish she didn't have to go through those things, I wish I was there earlier to save her from the pain.

"Tell me again what happened," she asks of me. Her voice is not any louder than a whisper.

I tell her what exactly happened. I put back in the details I have omitted. I tell her of the warmth of the fire, of the pained wails I heard when I ran. I tell her how she laid there, bathing in her own blood, her eyes closed and her mouth twisted in pain.

Her eyes are welling but her tears do not fall.

_That's it, __Tifa__. Be strong, there's still so much we have to endure. _

"I was so weak I couldn't do anything," she murmurs.

"But you were young then," I tell her.

"But age is not an excuse for weakness," she says, her anger evident in her words.

"You weren't weak, Tifa. You've never been weak," I tell her, placing my hand on her shoulder. She is never weak. She is my pillar of strength. She has always been with me in the world and time I left. She was there to help me live anew, to build a little family so I could find the strength to live. "You're always there to keep me strong," I say.

With this, her tears have begun to fall.

I offer my shoulder and she takes it, crying for the past neither of us could ever change. Not long after, my barriers are also breached and I hug her for whatever sorrow only the two of us can share. I hug her for only we can share this distinct feeling of loss. For only she can understand the longing I feel for a town that hated me but I had learned to love. For we both didn't deserve the ugly scars and memories of the forgotten past.

Her sobs are scarring pleas. The warmth of her body against mine is a burning reminder of the warmth of Nibelhiem's fire. She is my link to the past and my most dependable friend in the future.

_I owe you so much, __Tifa__, and I am so sorry that right now all I can ever do to ease your pain is this embrace._

I embrace my only connection to my past and, once and for all, accept it as a part of me.

* * *

**Tifa**

I wake up this morning to find all my roommates gone. It is strange that they have gone out without telling me but I'm never one to complain. I rub my arms to keep myself from shivering from the cold and I realize that the heater is turned on. But why is it cold? _Why is it always cold?_

It is five in the morning yet it's still dark outside. I look out the window to see parallel beads descending the skies. When was the last time I saw the rain in Nibelheim? I can't seem to remember. Looking outside, I realize that Nibleheim is not the same. The roads, the houses…they may look the same outside but not the spirit, not the people, not the laughter that used to echo in the walls. The real Nibelheim burned five years ago and what I see now is only an illusion, a pathetic replica of the old one. A hollow story of our past.

My eyes focus on a person emerging from outside town. The raven-haired young lady is on a run, ignoring the weak torrent and laughing cheerfully for the shiny metal in her hand. Then there you are, pouting as you realize just how drenched you have become. I see that your sword is covered with blood and grime and I realize that Yuffie have succeeded in importuning you to get her a bangle for her arm.

I smile. Cloud, you have really changed so much. You have learned to bend and care for the friends by your side. It is my guilty pleasure to be able to watch you like this, to see your face, watch you carry your sword, watch you move. It makes me happy just to be able to see you like this.

You stop walking in the middle of the street and cross your arms. Are you waiting for something, Cloud?

…or are you waiting for someone?

A yellow blur catches my attention, a stark contrast from the grey barren walls. I could not be mistaken, it is Aeris and her yellow umbrella. She emerges from the inn and quickly makes her way to you. Suddenly, I feel the sharp jaws of jealousy bite me from within.

I admit I am jealous.

And why wouldn't I be? After all, you spend more time with her than you spend time with any of us. After all, you readily agreed to guard such stranger when I could not even get you to stay if not for a job and some pay. After all, you were willing to brave a fully guarded ShinRa building alone just to save her, when I can only keep wondering if you will do the same for me.

Tell me why. Why is it that you have changed the moment she came? Is it because of her smile that the ice began to thaw? Is it because of her hands that can heal even a broken soul that you have learned to smile more? Is it because of her warm gaze that you have started to care?

I see her smile at you. Perhaps, just like me, she's in love with you.

And why wouldn't she be? After all you are Cloud Strife, skilled and handsome, troubled but strong. You have been through so much and still you fight and come out stronger. Your rare smiles and protective charm can make any woman feel safe and fall in love.

You return her smile and I hug myself tighter. You look at _her_ the way _I_ look at _you_ and, even though I try to ignore it, maybe, just maybe, you're in love with her too.

Why her? Why her when it is so unfair? It is unfair for I saw you first. It is unfair for I have loved you first.

"_You're my friend, __Tifa__, and you'll always be." _

I remember your words from last night and I feel my knees wobble. I asked you why you always save me when I am in trouble and you answer me with those words. My heart is breaking because for you I am _only _a friend. My heart is shattering at the prospect of remaining just your friend.

Isn't it enough that I love you so much, that I am willing to give you everything if you ask? Doesn't it suffice that I have always been, and will always be by your side? Can't you see how happy you make me feel? Don't you know how much I dream of you and me? Can't you just love me simply because…_I love you_

I wonder, if I have told you before of these feelings, would you have taken me in your arms and said you feel the same? Would you have looked at me the same way you're looking at her right now? Would you have held my hand the way you're holding hers?

Try as I may, I could not prevent these tears. The rain pours hard outside but it's not as strong as the flood of emotions I ease with my tears. I cry for my love you never return. I cry for your smiles I could never give.

Why can't you love me, Cloud?

And why is it that despite everything, I can love _only you_?

* * *

**Aeris**

I hear Yuffie's voice from outside and I immediately get to my feet. You are back from your quest and I know you are being drenched by the rain. I take my umbrella and run to where you are. You are pouting again like a child and I cannot help but suppress a smile.

Droplets of water descend from the skies as I walk to my love and I cannot help but shiver both from the cool breeze and the prospect of sharing your warmth. I stand before you, grip my umbrella tight and smile.

"What are you still doing in the rain?" I ask.

"Waiting," you answer concisely.

"Waiting for what?"

"For some lady to come and rescue me," you say with a smile.

"I'm sure many would gladly brave this rain to get to keep you in their houses for some time." It is true. Wherever we go, both males and females give you a second glance. No, not just second glances from ladies of different ages, but stares and lots of them, in fact. Sometimes I wonder what I have to do to keep their eyes off of you.

But who can blame them? You are indeed a sight to behold. Your mako blue eyes can steal all breathable air within a mile's radius. Your lean strong arms are dreams made real. Your smile is a fairy tale waiting to unfold. Sometimes I have to pinch myself to be reminded that you are not just one beautiful recurring dream.

"But there is only one I'd gladly ask out for breakfast," you say.

"I wonder who that might be…Yuffie perhaps?" I laugh. "Or the lady living across the street?"

"Who knows? After all, I only want her to be stunning, kind and talkative. Oh, and she has to be an Ancient too. I'm sure many will fit my standards. What do you think?"

"I think you have narrowed down the selection a tiny bit."

"I believe so too," you agree.

I look at you and take a tiny step closer. In an attempt to continue our game, I whisper to your ear, "have I told you I'm an Ancient?"

You look left and right. We are all alone in the quiet streets at five-twelve in the morning and with this knowledge, you lock your eyes to mine. You lean closer and I grip the umbrella tighter. I pray to God not to make you so daring as to kiss me right here for early risers in our group might see. But then again, your lips are so inviting that I'm not sure how long I can restrain myself from pulling you down for a kiss. Seconds pass and still you do nothing and for this, I let go of the breath I didn't realize I'm holding. You let out the slightest hint of a laugh and I realize that you are aware of my conflicting apprehension and anticipation for the warmth of your lips.

Oh, you are terrible! You always know how to make me blush.

"I don't see anyone else around, so I guess you will just have to do," you say, taking my other hand. You still have a knowing smile on your face and I know you will tease me about this for several days.

"Sometimes we just have to make do with what we have," I shrug, trying to cover my embarrassment.

"It's a date, then?" you ask.

I nod. Yes, it's a date. It's always a date. Don't you realize that every day I spend with you is one long date. Every second I spend with you is forever in a moment. Every smile I make because of you is my whole life in a single action.

Walking along the empty street towards the diner you say is just a walking distance away, I strike a conversation I am not sure if you will be comfortable with. "You didn't tell me you knew Zack," I say.

You look at me with guilty eyes. I feel the abrupt unwelcome change in the air around us and I almost regret bringing it up. Can't you tell I'm not angry but just curious, Cloud?

"I…" you search for words. "I'm sorry. It's just that I didn't know when I should tell you. I didn't mean to keep it a secret from you." You look away.

"It's okay. It's just that…" I stop myself from going further. Should I tell you that you remind me of Zack? How will you take it? Will you doubt the extent of my feelings for you? I wonder if you're the jealous type. But you have nothing to be jealous about, you see, for I love you so much that, for you, I am certain I can do everything.

"It's just that you see Zack in me?" you say with sad eyes and cheerless voice. You really know how to steal my thoughts, don't you? How is it possible that most of the time you know exactly what I am thinking of? I wonder…were we in love in the time and world you were from?

"Slightly, but…" I admit and try to think of something to make you feel better. "But…wait, are you jealous, Cloud?"

You blush and I have to suppress another smile. You do not answer and already I get the hint.

"He's not my great love, Cloud," I say. Then I add two words not any louder than the softest of whispers, _"you are…"_

Whether you hear it or not does not matter, it will not change the fact that it is true. It will not change the fact that no matter what happens, I will always choose you.

I feel the air suddenly lighten and your stiff grip on the umbrella relax. Perhaps you heard me, for you bring my head closer to your lips and try to hide a smile into my hair.

I'm all yours, Cloud, ever since _we_ fell in love.

* * *

Reviews will be very much appreciated. 


	5. Land and Sea

**Disclaimer: **Everything ff7 isn't mine, obviously.

**Author's Notes: **Wow…it only took me two months and 17 days to update. I'm really sorry for not updating sooner. I had plenty of school work to do and cannot find time to write this chapter these past couple of months. It's my semestral break now, though, so I guess I can update this sooner.

Thank you for all the reviews you have left. I'm really grateful for the positive reviews.

This chapter has less fluff and is supposed to add a bit of conflict in the story. It is also meant to make it more obvious that this fic actually has a plot even though it never seemed like it until now.

Anyway, read on and enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 5: Land and Sea**

**Vincent**

These people surely are a strange bunch. They have come and have dared disturb me from my wretched slumber. To them, monsters pose no hindrance. For them, locks are never keep out signs and a man in a coffin is just a man who could not find a decent bed. They are both courageous and outrageous, I must give them that. But just how thin is the line between courage and foolhardiness? Just how thin is the line between a human and a monster?

I fold my arms and reassume my position in the Tiny Bronco floating in the sea. I look around me and see the group of adventurers I am stuck with.

The foul-mouthed blonde pilot is named Cid. I never knew a man could curse so many times in a second. If possible, he's even more eager to break the world record for cussing now that his beloved plane's tail caught fire and is now nothing more than a deformed boat. Aeris, the one who surprisingly looks so familiar, is hugging her knees to her chest and is singing to herself as she balances herself in the plane's right wing. She is a strange one…if possible, she's even stranger a creature than I am. There is something in her that sets her apart, there is something in her that both tells me to run away and protect her at the same time. She looks so familiar…if only I could remember who she looks like…

Stranger still is their leader, a young mercenary with mako eyes. I thought he is from SOLDIER but he told me he is not. He had been infused with mako, he said, and was taken by Hojo to be part of an experiment. He did not elaborate on what experiment it was. I need not ask for it is not what draws my curiosity to this man. He could be a monster like I am and I would not care, what sparks my interest though is this strange feeling that this is not the place nor time where he belongs.

His strange actions further confirm my thoughts. He always seems to know what will happen, always has a plan ready as if he is sure that things are bound to happen like he thinks it will. He has the skills not common to men of his age; he knows how to kill the rarest of monsters as if he has been doing it for so long.

Late at night or too early in the morning he would wake up with a start. He'll leave the tent with urgency and head to the next tent to check whether the rest of the group are safe. At first I thought he was just playing the caring leader but soon I realized it is not them he always feels the compulsion to check on…but her, the lovely but strange one. They are lovers, no denying that, but just how much can one man obsess about a woman if he had not lost her once?

He is mad and is quickly losing his senses, I can tell. When they're not together I'd always see him either staring at her from afar as if encapsulating her in a memory or swinging his sword as if he were merely practicing but I know his mind is wandering in his own world of turmoil. There seems to be a heavy burden on his shoulder and everything he does reflects that. He seems repentant for a sin that no one knew exactly what. He is preparing for a battle that is far bigger than what he lets on.

The lovers would always argue for different seemingly petty reasons. They'd argue because she was too friendly and trusting to strangers while he, on the other hand, was too rude to them. They'd fight because she insists he's too protective while he insists she's always being too careless. Perhaps what she says is true for he would never let her out of his sight. Even with just a few hours that she has gone on her own or without him, he'd be stark mad. He'd go looking for her everywhere even at indecent hours of the night, knocking on different doors, looking for a brown-haired young lady with a staff.

Such is his obsession and I wonder if Aeris is his Lucrecia. Who exactly are they both that they remain puzzles to my keen senses? Why is he holding on to her as if she were slipping away? Why is he plagued with detestable dreams if he had not committed such crimes like I had? Is it really possible that he is a man just like me…only given a second chance?

He is a man on a mission, that much is clear. What mission? Who sent him? Why? Is he here only to protect her or will he harm her just the same? Is he here to do what he says, or is he here to bring further destruction to this much chaotic world? I sense danger in him, but I sense much more danger whenever they are together. I sense evil within him. I sense death within her. Have I just woken up to commit another crime?

* * *

**Cloud**

"NOO0OO0OO0OO!"

My cry tears through the starless night. I watch with frozen legs as you fly into the air and fall to the hard ground a few meters away. I hear your cry of pain and I find my legs running as fast as it has never done before.

I run to you, stirring dust with my every step until I can kneel in front of you and hold your pained face. _Aeris__…_

_No, __Aeris__…Not just like in my dreams. Not this time…_

"I'm alright," you say forcing your lips into a smile. But you falter midway and my teeth teeters with anger. "Go help Nanaki…" you try to say.

"Cure!" I put into action my most unused magic. I look at your face and I realize it has not done anything at all. Damn my handicaps! "Cure!"

"It's no use, it's bro--" you try to stop me. "behind you!" you shriek and already I have my sword readied and my body twisted to face the monster. My sword clashes continuously with its hard-shelled body, sparks flying with every collision. My every muscle cries out for rest but I have to fight, to hold on to this anger until I get the sweet feeling of revenge.

It attacks, trying to swipe my head off with a heavily-protected arm and if I have been half a second slower I would have been a decapitated corpse. A desperate attempt for his part…and a very stupid one. It has given me just enough time to bury my sword beneath its arm and tear through its body.

Fluids splay and before long I find myself covered with gut and slime as I cut off every fucking limb I can see, every pound of flesh before me. I see red and my arms would not stop from slaughtering, decimating, destroying every possible harm I see.

_I'll destroy anyone who dares hurt you…I'll destroy everything that gets in my way…_

"Cloud!" Nanaki calls. "Stop it, Cloud!" he leaps to my front, unafraid of the buster sword in my hand.

I stop. I'm breathing hard as if I have just woken up from a trance. I look at my friend who stares back at me with pity in his eyes. What have I done again? What have I done?

He looks away. I follow his line of sight to see you sitting on the ground, eyes etched with evident fear.

_Are you afraid, __Aeris__? Are you afraid of me?_

I drop my sword and I stalk your way, each step heavy with renewed anger.

"What the hell were you trying to do?" I ask, fury evident in my voice.

You look at me with fearful eyes and I almost wish you're looking at another man. "I was just trying to sa—to help you," you say.

"I do not care who needs help, you do not leave the spot I tell you even if the ground swallows you!" I am shouting now and I can see your eyes welling with tears. Cry again, will you? Cry again and dissolve my anger with your tears.

I take your hand carelessly and you whimper in pain. I readjust my grip and I hold you gently, careful not to bring anymore pain with my touch. I realize that it's broken and so I try to wrap it with a bandage and a stick.

"I'm sorry," you say, trying your best not to let your tears fall.

"Sorry, you're always sorry. I don't want your apology if you're just going to do it again anyway! Why can't you just do as I tell you? Why won't you ever listen?!"

You look down towards the ground, your tears falling even as you try to keep them from escaping your eyes.

I'm sorry, Aeris, I truly am. It's not your fault that lately I always have to be like this. It is not your fault that dreams of your death keep haunting me in my sleep. I always dream of you, Aeris, and with every night that we come near that fated moment, the dreams get more vivid. I always watch you die. Each and every night, I watch and I hold you as you breathe your last. Why such torture? Tell me why I have to go through this over and over again? Is this the price I have to pay?

Every dawn I wake up from such cruel nightmares and all I could do is look for you, watch you as you sleep and tell myself that it's only a dream. It's only a nightmare…but for how long will it remain only such?

I am slowly killing myself worrying about you, worrying why you haven't woken up yet, worrying why it's taking you too long to bathe, worrying where you have gone and whether you are safe just a mere two minutes after we have parted. I worry whenever I don't see you but I also worry whenever I do for I could not tell when I will be possessed again and pose a threat. I worry each night that you might be thinking of going someplace else without me. I worry right now that you might have reached your limit and think that I have gone too far. I worry that the fear in your eyes might not subside.

_I'll be damned if you look at me again with terror in your eyes. _

The clock is ticking and we are coming near. I choke with the pressure. I can't think with all these things in my mind, with all the responsibilities I have put on my shoulders. I'm not strong enough. I'm three lifetimes away from being prepared. I doubt if I can do it but I look at you and I know I have to try.

I keep on hurting you; I bring you more and more reasons to hate me each day. I am pathetic and you are miserable but I can't help it.

I'm sorry, Aeris. I truly am. Bear with me just a little bit longer.

"I told you a million times, you can heal but only at a distance. Always assume a defensive stance, make sure you are farthest away from the enemy and cast magic from your position," I say, trying to tone down my voice but still the edge is evident in my every word. "It doesn't matter who is dying, you take care of yourself because after the fight, we will need your healing magic."

You nod your head a bit as I finish wrapping the bandage in your arm. I know deep inside you're protesting but you do not have the desire or the energy to argue with a paranoid man.

"Don't use any magic or do anything stressful until you are healed, we'll spend the night here and travel to the next town first thing tomorrow morning," I say as I turn to get the tent from the bag I have discarded during the fight. Nanaki is watching us from a distance.

You try to stand up and already I realize what you have in mind. I turn to you sharply, "and don't even think about helping with the tent."

You sigh and reassume your sitting position.

"I'm not allowing you to cook dinner either!" I add.

I can feel your spirit falling even further and I can only blame myself.

I am pathetic and I am miserable but I can't help it. I love you, Aeris, and if this love is not good enough then I don't know what is.

* * *

**Aeris**

I have known from the start that loving you will not be easy and I haven't been mistaken. How can a Cetra such as I deserve an easy and happy life? All my life I have either been running from the Turks, held captive or being told what to do. When you came I thought life suddenly made a turn and things will be different. Somehow as time marched on I realize those dreams are not true. But I don't blame you, Cloud, not one bit for I know what pain runs through you.

I cannot help but wonder if I just pulled you into this mess. Is it my fault, Cloud, that you are fighting in both land and sea just to protect me? Is it my fault that we are all running away from ShinRa and running towards a suicide mission to save the planet? You deserve a far better future than mine, you are not the one destined to suffer my life, yet I pull you into this.

I hear footsteps on the roof and already I know that it is you. You like traversing hotel roofs just to check on me, don't you? You have woken up again in the middle of the night, emotions torn to shreds by a nightmare you'd never tell me anything about. You land on the ledge of the window with a first class soldier's stealth. You peek inside. You let out a sigh of relief before you step into the room.

You step closer to my bed, careful not to wake either me or Yuffie. Just like always, you stare at me as I pretend to sleep. I can feel the intensity of your eyes on me. I can feel the pain in your heart as you stare. I can feel your tears threatening to fall and it squeezes my heart to know that you won't let me do anything to ease the pain.

"I'm sorry," I hear you whisper. "I'm sorry."

"For what?"

I startle you and you take a step back, almost knocking off the table. We both feel Yuffie stir on her bed and without thinking twice I cast sleep magic where she lays.

You seem rather disoriented and I have to come out of my bed and touch your arm to let you know that it's alright. Instead of answering my question you take me into your arms, embracing me as if it will be the last time.

_It's __alright,__ Cloud…whatever causes you to be like this, I'll help you through this…_

"Promise me you'll never leave. Promise me you won't go anywhere without me," you say, strong emotions lacing every word.

"I'm just here, Cloud. I'll always be here. I promise," I stroke your back, trying what I can to help calm you down.

"Just stay, Aeris. Stay for me," you murmur into my hair.

I giggle despite the sorrowful atmosphere you have brought. "Of course, silly. I love you, so whether you like it or not, I'll stay."

You pull away just enough to look into my eyes. "I'm serious," you say, the tone of your voice proving your point.

"So am I."

You smile. You should smile more, Cloud. Whenever I see you smile I cannot help but wonder if there's anything in this world or in another that is as lovely.

As you lean in to kiss me for only the twenty-seventh time yet, I ask you the question that has been bothering me for only the seven-hundredth time yet. "What happened?"

"I'm sorry," you apologize. "It's just that I'm always irritable lately. It's not your fault. I know I'm always being too hard on you lately, I'll try to lighten--"

"No, I mean…what happened in the past?" I dare ask you such questions. I have always been curious about it, I have just been too afraid to ask. "Why is it haunting you?"

"What do…" you try to avoid answering the question.

"You know what I mean. And don't even attempt to lie, Cloud. I can tell when you do."

Trust is the key. Don't lie to me, Cloud. I cannot assure you that everything will be alright but it will be a start. I always thought I do not need answers to my questions, that just being with you is enough. But these things are destroying you and I cannot just watch you crumble beneath these unmentioned truths.

You look into my eyes and purse your lips. What are you looking for? A reassurance that I'll stay? I mean every word I say, and I'll keep my promise whatever you say.

"I'm not everything you think I am," you start.

But you are a mystery to me, Cloud. So far, you still are.

"I have done so many wrong things, committed so many mistakes. All I'm trying to do now is hold on to the only thing that probably went right. So please forgive me if I can't tell you right now," you take me into your needy embrace again. "Forgive me for the mistakes I will commit in the future and for the pain I will cause. Just know that I love you, and that I'm doing everything for us."

I return your grip just as tightly. Your sincerity touches me but your shutting your walls to me hurts me so. I can only keep hoping that one day you'll let me in. I beg you to let me in.

Break your barriers for me. Let me in if only for the one thing I can offer. I love you, Cloud, and if this love is not good enough then I don't know what is.

* * *


	6. Promised Land

**Author's Notes: **The characters are talking to their love interests. Aeris to Cloud and vice versa. Vincent to Lucrecia. And for those who haven't played the game in a while: Great Gospel is Aeris' strongest limit break, Edincoat is a bangle with eight slots, and Demon's Gate is the boss in the Temple of the Ancient.

I apologize for the extremely late update and thank you for reading and leaving reviews.

* * *

**Chapter 6: Promised Land**

**Aeris**

The gondola ride starts out slow and unsteady, suspending us several feet up in the air. My eyes are welcomed by lights of different colors, of sights a girl from the slums would consider too magnificent to behold. Subdued sounds of music and laughter fill the silence we have created.

"Cloud, won't you look at this sight?!" I say, taking in the wonders like a little kid. The Gold Saucer is shiny, colorful and is booming with life, a stark contrast from our world in the Midgar slums. I cannot believe I lived twenty-two long years missing this.

I look at you and see the colorful lights highlight your thoughtful face. I debate which scenery I'd rather stare at, the whole of Gold Saucer or your lovely pout. You look at me and I give you a quick smile. You return it with a little smirk and then dive right back to your pool of thoughts.

I continue staring for a bit before I turn my head to view the other sight. How can I not be thankful for having you by my side? With you, I see the world in different shades. You've taken me to places I never thought I'd be able to see. I wonder, Cloud, what is left in this world for us to see? What wonders are still out there for you to show me?

We are in a mission yet in an adventure. An adventure that includes swords and staffs, boats and buggy rides. We've been to haunted mansions, tall buildings, and wild markets. We've seen and fought the most diverse of creatures, seen the weirdest and simplest of towns, and we've made hundreds of acquaintances and friends along the way. Because of one chance meeting, I am having the adventure of a lifetime. Because of one chance meeting, I have met the love of my life.

You're still deep in thought. You've been silent since we got to Gold Saucer. What's on your mind, Cloud? What burdens are you carrying that has been plaguing your mind?

"Want to tell me something?" I ask, moving across to sit beside you in the gondola.

You make room for me and ask, "Have you mastered the great gospel yet?"

I remember you dragging us to a dangerous cave to look for Mythril, even importuning a sleepy old man to cough it up. We kept wondering why you've been so adamant about finding some and only realized why when you already have the Great Gospel in hand. You're so eager about me learning it, so supportive in my mastering the skill. It will protect me, you say. But I've got all the protection I need, you see. You're with me, and it's the safest I can ever be.

"Getting there," I answer. "Is there anything else you want to say?"

You think for a second, hesitate and then shake your head. You still won't talk to me about things that matter. I'm still just another character in your game. How bad can the truth be that you can't tell me about it? How terrible is the future...or the past... that you'd rather it break you than share it with me?

How can I continue loving one who cannot give me his trust? Tell me, Cloud, am I asking for too much?

You sense my pain and so you take my head and put it on your shoulder. "I'm sorry, I don't want to talk. I just wanna stay here with you."

Then do. Stay. Don't wander off. Don't let your mind wander too far. Forget the future and the past. Let's live for right now, cherish the moment and enjoy while we can.

And so we stay, with my head on your shoulder and fingers intertwined. We watch the fireworks from where we are, admiring the scenery, willing time to stop. I feel the safest when I'm in your arms. If time were to stop, how I wish it would stop now. Now while I feel your warm touch. Now while our hearts are beating in rhyme.

"Do you remember what I told you about the promised land?" I ask you as the gondola ride begins to slow.

You nod.

"About no one knowing where it is. When you get there, you just _know_ it, feel that it's the promised land," I tell you again anyway.

"Hmm?"

"Well, I feel it, Cloud." I tell you. "My promised land is right here."

"Where?" Your voice echoes your confusion.

I take your arm and wrap it around me to make my point. "Right here..._"_

_With you._

I feel the air lighten as you try to hide a smile. Somehow, all the lights seem brighter now.

As the doors open, you hold me close. "Wanna know what I think?" you ask.

I nod.

"I think I wanna go for another round."

* * *

**Cloud:**

Danger is looming ahead of us. Danger is beside you wherever you go. Danger is within me...hiding in my unconscious, waiting for the perfect time to strike. I will remain a threat to you until _his_ death, and for this I can already taste _his_ blood. I can imagine every scenario wherein my sword is piercing _his_ body, _his_ teeth gritting in anger and pain, _his_ eyes burning in shame. I will kill _him_, I will end this war altogether. I will do everything just so we can have our happy ending.

I am a sinner. I am a murderer. I am a fraud. A broken man with a dark past and silly dreams. And even though I am these many evil things, you still love me. You are my salvation, my most wanted dream. And for that I cannot rest until I can stay beside you for as long as I live. I have travelled far just to be back in this time, to again have this moment with you. I am neither the strongest nor the wisest, but I will definitely be the one to protect you all the way.

I can only hope my preparations would not be in vain. The Great Gospel, the Edincoat, the constant trainings, the best armors, hard to find materias...I pray they will come in handy in preserving your safety. Our friends might hate me for always placing you at the top, for caring for you the most up to the point that sometimes I tend to neglect some of their needs. Call me selfish, but I have come back with only one goal.

I have come to Vincent, already asked for his help. If there is someone who can understand the pain I am going through, the pressure that is slowly killing me, it is him. He has committed a sin once too, has let his love suffer and die. My past mirrors his and I am certain he will not be one to judge me for the mistakes I have done and are yet to commit.

"Take the black materia, keep it safe and never let me touch it," I have told him. I have told him of the future and of the past. Of the violence you are to witness in my hands...no, Sephiroth's hands...through me. I have told him of your death, of our eventual victory, of the geostigma, of the silver-haired clones and of Sephiroth's return. I have told him of the nights I couldn't help but wallow. Of the guilt and the pain. Of my only wish to see you, hold you and save you from this cruel fate.

He is strong, he is wise. He will know what to do to ensure our immediate victory. I can trust him to protect the black materia, to keep me from being possessed by Sephiroth and handing the silver-haired soldier such dangerous powers.

There will be no need to pray for Holy if there will be no meteor to prevent. There will be no meteor to prevent if Sephiroth will never have the black materia. That is why I can never touch it, that is why I cannot risk being near you when the powerful materia is already in our hands.

After keeping the black materia, the rest of us will travel to North Crater and kill the abomination once and for all. This is not how the world is supposed to turn but I don't care. I will do what I can to prevent your death, hope that we are strong enough to face against such a monster. I do not know what the world will become after all these. The world might end up worse than what it is supposed to be but I am willing to take whatever risk just so you will live.

We will win. I'd do everything I can to ensure our victory. My victory.

I land on my feet with my dirt-stricken sword in hand, behind me the Demon's Gate disintegrates from the power of Omnislash.

Cloud star and Aeris star. Perfect for each other, we have been told. I smirk. It will be the most perfect it will ever be.

I have moved my piece in the game. I am waiting for _his_ turn.

* * *

**Vincent:**

No one saw the silver-haired warrior as he watched from a distance how the temple collapsed into its tiny form. No one heard his laughter as he watched everyone celebrate for the success we all think we have. No one felt how he observed the group with a predator's stealth, sneering at the stupidity of how he was underestimated. No one saw, heard nor felt him...no one except me.

Danger is coming, already too near I can feel it in the wind. Already too near, I'm afraid there is not much neither Cloud nor I can do. Despite his preparations, despite his determination...it seems that fate will eventually unfold the way it should. It is such a pity he has been carried all this way by his foolish hopes.

He has told me how different he is from the others. From his knowledge of the future to the Jenova cells within his body. Like me he is a monster, like me he is a sinner. Now I understand why he is such an enigma, why the sight of him screams of danger and death. He has in him the disaster's cells, the same essence as Sephiroth's. He, too, could bring the world chaos and destruction. He poses such great danger yet he has the nerve to come back, to risk the world's destruction for the woman he loves.

I envy him.

I envy him yet I do not approve. Who is he to deserve this chance? A sinner should atone, not recklessly try to change the events through time. If death is the destiny of Professor Gast's daughter then maybe it should remain such. His every move in this world where he does not belong has repercussions; his every breath is a crime in time. It is only further sin that he will commit, only more heartache that he will gain.

"It is never one man's choice that should prevail in the end...it should never be in his sole hands that the world would turn," I have told him then. My words have fallen on deaf ears. He is not one to be persuaded, never one to give up.

His determination is admirable and the height of his dreams is even more so. If it is my help he wants, it is my help he gets. I have committed enough crimes by inaction, have silently watched too many nightmares unfold...it is time I act to prevent these horrors. It is time I do something to prevent a disaster. If this is what I have to do to atone for my sins then so be it.

I look at the black materia, admire the way it glistens on my claw under the black night sky. If I guard it with my life, a calamity might be prevented. If I fight with all my might, I might buy time for Ifalna's child.

_And maybe, just maybe there is really a reason to hope._

This might be the end of my search for atonement. The one thing I can do to deserve your forgiveness.

The cool breeze whispers, telling me of the bloodshed that is to come. With the skill and determination of the Turk I once was, I raise my gun towards the pit of the night.

_For you and for this planet..._

In the darkness, I see silver glisten.


	7. Room

**A/N:** Longest chapter yet. I hope you'll enjoy reading it. Let me know what you think.

**Chapter 7: Room**

**Aeris**

It invades me in the form of the assaulting cold and a sudden tingling sensation. Wind whispering into my skin, heralding news of a terrible misfortune. I never forget how I felt the same thing years ago while waiting for Zack. I was young then, I did not know what it meant, prayed for a dead I thought I did not know. It is the same feeling all over again and I shiver in fear as I think of you.

My eyes look for you, feet dragging themselves past dancing Yuffie, past drunk Cid...No, Cait, I am not in the mood to dance, not anymore. Somehow our celebration feels wrong, the laughters seem like strings of mockeries. Where are you, Cloud? Have you...just like Zack, have you...

I could not even bear the thought.

"What's wrong?" it is your voice and I finally let out my breath.

I turn and embrace you, assuring myself you are still here, warm and loving and unhurt.

Still, the feeling stays.

I let you go and look into your eyes. "Something's wrong," I tell you. My eyes are reflecting distraught and fright.

"What is?" there is panic in your voice.

I delve into the pool of voices, try to pinpoint the exact thing that has gone wrong. I will the voices to hush, to let me focus on what I desire to find. The voices are restless, each telling me what I need to hear but they're speaking all at once and it's getting louder and louder and I cannot understand and...

"Vincent..."I whisper and in a second I am running out the door and slipping into the dark, dark night.

* * *

**Cloud:**

No, Aeris, no. Why do you run into danger when all I ever ask is for you to stay far away from it? Why must you go when any sensible woman would have just stayed? I see you out the door and I stalk your way, running as fast as I can to catch up. I follow your trail, keeping my eye on your pink dress. Where are you going, Aeris? What are you running for?

_He_ is here.

_He_ has walked this trail, has set foot in this soil, has poisoned the planet where _his_ presence has been on. With panic, I run faster. You are running to where _he_ is. No, Aeris, whatever you do you cannot come face to face with _him_.

I reach out and grab you, wrap you in my protective embrace. I take the sword on my back, raising it ahead of us in a defensive stance. The blade of my sword glistens in the moonlight. I listen to the sound of the darkness around us.

"Cure," I hear you whisper.

Green mist appears in front of us, revealing a red laden ex-turk on the ground.

Vincent.

I loosen my grip on you and you walk towards him slowly. "Cure," again you whisper. I watch you crouch beside him, hold him as he keeps his eyes from fluttering closed. Your tears fall as you place his head on your lap and clasp your hands in a prayer. As the lights of the Great Gospel flicker, the horror is revealed to my eyes.

Red is everywhere. His coat, his eyes, his blood, your hands.

My hands.

I drop my sword to the ground. What have I done?

* * *

**Cid:**

It is in some goddamn deep shit we are in. Lady luck really is no one's bitch. I have gone from incredulously drunk to sober over finding the red vampire a fuckin' bloody mess that night. The party is over. No point rejoicing over that damn Sephiroth finding us, maiming Vincent, and getting the black materia.

Everyone has his own way of coping. Yuffie keeps on training, pretending she is not at all affected. Tifa takes care of the group, keeping busy with feeding everyone just so she would not have the chance to brood. Barret visits the ex-turk sometimes then screams a series of profanities directed towards ShinRa and Sephiroth while he storms out of the room. Aeris keeps on praying while Cloud just keeps on moping about something regarding his hands and blood and faults. Sometimes, I worry about that fuckin' retarded chocobo head the most.

As I see it, Vincent is still a lucky fucker. He has faced the Masamune weilder in battle yet breath still escapes his lips. Sure is lucky that another powerful magic user is in the group. Had Aeris arrived a minute later, we might have dragged a bloody corpse.

He is sleeping, perhaps nightmares still torture the poor guy. It has been two days and we are still all waiting for him to wake up.

I savor the taste of smoke in my mouth, that stupid bitch in the store told me that this is their last pack. Even had the nerve to lecture me for smoking too much. The hell, why not she try to save the whole damn planet with a klepto ninja, a half-dead ex-turk and a walkin' talkin' toy cat and let's see if she won't go smokin' like a chimney stack? Goddamn Gongaga village, what kind of place has a limited stock of cigarettes anyway? Have they no chain smokers in this God-forsaken place?

Everybody feels grief and pressure at what has happened. There is a companion to worry for, meteor to prevent, Sephiroth who can turn up at any moment and Shinra after our asses. When I first met these misfits, I never thought that this is the weight of the burden they've been stupidly lugging around. Had I known then, I would have packed a hell lot of cigarettes and tea bags.

What twisted sense of fuckin' valor has this vampire anyway? Telling a drunk that there is no need for more than one to die, that_ he_ is only after the one with the materia.

"Who the fuckin' he?" I asked him that night, minutes before he walked out the door and into the darkness.

He didn't answer, only told me something about the necessity of a sacrifice. Of a man with a weak hold on his mind, of a love that has gone over the boundaries of time. Not exactly the drunken talk I wanted to hear, nothing at all made sense and I cannot even remember half of it. He went all dark shit and mysterious on me before my ears started to ring and I told him to let me fuckin' be. I never thought that it is this sacrifice, this bloodshed he was referring to. How hard is it to form a simple sentence telling me that Sephiroth is here? Of all the goddamn things he told me, why couldn't he just say that he knows he's about to be vampire cabob on a Masamune stick?

I stare at his sleeping form, noting that he is probably the creepiest comatose I will ever see. He looks more dead than alive. Colorless lips forming a thin line, his face the pastiest, palest white. Not that he looked alive any other time I saw him. I blow smoke over his face and mentally wish he will narrow his horrifyingly red eyes at me and walk away.

Why the fuck did he talk to me of all people anyway? Now I feel guilty and sad that I didn't listen, sent him away and never realized he was probably saying goodbye. Why did I get the fucking bad luck of always being stuck with him in grouping and shit, now I miss talking to him and cursing him and I am getting all emotional like a girl and damn you, Shera, for watching all those telenovelas and telling me that it is alright for a man to cry.

"Want to be the hero all by your fuckin' self, huh?" I ask him. "Well, you've done it, you stupid bastard. You could have told me directly, you know? Could have probably saved your ass. Now Valentine, I don't know why I'm feeling sad and guilty over your idiocy but I know I don't like this feeling. And if you don't wake up before we leave in the morning, when I get back I'd fucking kill you with my own damn spear, ya hear me?"

There is no answer.

* * *

**Aeris**

Vincent is dying, meteor is falling, you are breaking down. I do not understand why the Higher being has given us such terrible luck. I watch you from where I sit while you think and roll your hands to fists. It is not your fault, I have told you time and time again. It is not your fault that Vincent is dying and that everything is not going according to your plan. You are a single life form in a big, big planet - there is no way you could change fate's desires.

"You need to rest, Cloud," I tell you. "We're leaving early tomorrow morning."

Your eyes travel to me and the sadness in those orbs threaten to melt me. "Will you forgive me?" your voice is shaking. "If I sin again, will you still forgive me?"

I attempt a smile, trying to chase away the lonely atmosphere that has long invaded. "Why are you still moping about it, Cloud? It is not your fault. It could have been any of us lying on that bed," I tell you. "It is time you digest our words."

"It's not that...not only that," you say. "It should have been different. Should have been me...not Vincent...would have been diff'rnt. Would have given...not _him_ taking..."

You are mumbling and I cannot understand what you are saying.

"I thought I could change it, I thought I could save you and no harm will come to any of us," you are looking at me yet you do not see me. You go on and on about an event that you think I should know but I don't.

"Calm down," I am directly before you now, placing a hand on your shoulder. "Slow down, tell me what this is all about."

You look away, guilt still etched on your face. "Vincent is not supposed to be the one lying there," you say. "It should have been me. I should have been the one holding the black materia, the one giving it to Sephiroth. I really thought my plan would work..."

"There is no way you could have predicted that this will happen," I immediately tell you. "There was no way we could have known that Sephiroth would have followed us instead of us following him."

You look at me again, "I tried what I can but we're back here again, the meteor is threatening to fall and you want to save us all. Don't listen to the voices, Aeris. Whatever they tell you, don't listen to them."

I am surprised at what you say. How can you tell me such things when you do not even know what the planet is asking for? "Cloud, you're not well," I tell you. "I think you should rest."

You grab my hand as I motion to go. "Don't pray for Holy," you order me with cold words. "Listen to me, don't pray for Holy."

"What are you saying? How did you know that I'll be pra—" then I get tangled with my own words. How can I forget that you do not belong to the same time as mine? How can I forget that you always know the plan?

You wrap your hands on mine and ask me again. "Don't pray for Holy, Aeris. Don't."

Don't do this, don't do that. You always tell me what to do and what not to. You keep ordering me around. Don't pray for Holy, don't do as the planet desires. How about what I want, Cloud? How about my duties to this planet being the Cetra that I am?

"You don't know what you're asking for," I tell you, my anger slipping through. "I have a duty to the planet, I will do what I have to do."

Your grip on my hand tightens. "Stay here with Vincent, we can defeat Sephiroth and somehow we might prevent meteor."

_Might._

"Why, Cloud? Why should I risk the planet's existence just because it is what you ask?" I question you, giving you a chance to make me understand why I have to do as you say.

You look hesitant for a second but you realize it is the end of your road of denial. You are hanging on a slim chance, you have to try honesty for once. You let out the words as if it were poison from your mouth, "because I will forever lose you if you do."

You want me to let the world end because you do not want to lose me? You think you are being noble but in truth you are being selfish, Cloud. You never ask me what I want. You make everyone move as you like as if everyone is a piece in your game of chess. The world is at risk, meteor is about to fall and all you can think about is a twisted fairytale ending wherein you get the princess while your kingdom is being burned to ashes. I love you, Cloud, but I also have a duty. You do not have the right to tell me what I should do when it comes to this.

People die, Cloud. I am not afraid.

* * *

**Cloud:**

"If that is what is supposed to happen, then so be it."

I hear you and feel the determination that laces your every word. I am running out of options here, I am running out of ideas to keep you safe. Stay here, Aeris. The world **might** end but...

I know it is not right for me to ask you to abandon your duties but what am I supposed to do? I risk losing you again and I do not think I can handle the pain. The clock is ticking, we are coming near. I am in a battle against fate and time and your own will. I am weaponless in this battle, there is nothing I can do or I can offer to gain advantage. I am losing, this I know...but I have to keep on fighting.

"Don't make me do this," I warn you as I look away. How can I face you when I am acting like the monster that I have become? You see the sleep materia in my armor light up and your eyes travel to the iron lock on my hand. You process the information.

How low can a man stoop just to win the love of his life? How much can I risk to get what I want?

I do not want this, it is not my desire to be in this position. I did what I thought is enough to prevent having to go through this. I tried to break the chain, I tried to change our fates. I thought that if I do not touch the black materia, meteor will never threaten us. I thought that if I do not hand the orb to Sephiroth then all I need to do is kill him in North Crater with the help of our friends and all the materias we have gathered. I thought training you and everyone for the final battle is enough so I can have my happy ending. But things have gone differently, the events have changed yet they are still the same. Meteor is still here, hovering above the skies. Vincent is fighting for his life when he should be fine and fighting alongside everyone.

I am afraid I haven't changed fate until now, only caused destruction and demise for one of our loved ones. Nothing is going as I planned and I blindly clutch at the slimmest of chances that I have.

The anger and pain in your voice are enough for my undoing. "How dare you..."

I know I have crossed the line. I know this is not how I should act. I also know that my pleading can do nothing to change your mind. If I don't do this, I might never see you again. If I don't resort to this, I might as well say goodbye.

"Who are you?" you ask, hands balling into fists, anger blazing in your eyes. "You are nothing like the man I love. " You motion for the exit, planning to get out. I beat you to the door and I force it shut, the green materia is still shining and the magic is ready to be cast.

Your eyes look straight at mine and I shiver at what I see. Disbelief. Anger. Pain. Hatred. Disgust.

I realize now that I have put myself in a predicament with no victory. It is either your life or your love. I will have to choose. I can have only one.

I have to choose and I have to choose fast. Which will it be?

Your life or your love.

Fool that I am, I let you walk out the door.

* * *

**A/N:** Nope, Cloud wasn't possessed by Sephiroth; he's not the one who almost killed Vincent. It was actually Sephiroth but Cloud felt that it was somehow his fault for making Vincent keep the black materia.

Drop a review if you can.


	8. Lake

A/N: I've edited the previous chapters that's why it took me this long to update. This chapter is the longest so far. I hope you'll enjoy reading this. Please leave a review and let me know what you think. I will edit this when I have the time. Happy holidays, everyone!

**Chapter 8:**** Lake**

**Cloud:**

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

Everything I did was wrong. Everything I did was stupid. How could I manage to screw up everything in my life without so much as my own effort? How could I just let you walk out the door? How could I just stand here for the longest time and let you go?

_Forgive me..._

Forgive me for hurting you, for letting you go, for not being strong enough to save you from this cruel, cruel fate. I tried, Aeris, gods know I tried but it seems like I failed again. I could not save anyone, not you, not me. I could not do anything and I curse myself for being stupid and worthless all over again.

You have no idea how painful it was for me to deal with your death. You have no idea how my heart shattered as I held you lifeless in the altar. I found temporary distraction in my quest for revenge but after everything had come to pass, after I had killed Sephiroth in the Northern Crater, your memories came flooding back. If there was anything I have realized I wanted so much in my life, it was you. But you had been taken away so cruelly from me...and I am threatened to undergo the same torment as I once had. I don't think I can take it. Tell me how I can survive your loss for a second time.

After minutes of being glued to where I stand, I finally get the strength to move, to face the darkness and look for you. I run. I run and I search and I scream your name. Where are you, Aeris? Don't go. I want you back. I will support you in whatever you want, I just want us to be together at the end of the line.

I pant, my legs threatening to give way due to weariness. I have run a good distance from Gongaga, have searched for you everywhere I can. I'm late, maybe a bit too late when I have managed to summon the courage to follow you out the door. The realization is dawning upon me now. I have lost you for the second time.

I drop to my knees and silently weep for everything I have done.

* * *

**Tifa:**

"Cloud...Cloud..." I yell your name in the hopes that you will answer. "Cloud...Aeris..."

Only the crickets answer my call. Why now? Why must everything go wrong now? I walk further into the forest, ducking under a few overhanging branches. "Cloud?"

Where are you, damnit! My fist connects violently with an ill-fated tree trunk and the force causes it to lean over, sending birds and crickets flying frightfully in surprise. I desperately want to hold you right now. Now while you are weak and vulnerable and needing my help. Now while I can still be of help, when I am not as expendable as I can't help but feel when she's around.

I'm worried sick, Cloud, because I know you are not strong enough when it comes to things like these. What will you do? Where will you go? You need a shoulder to lean on, a friend to bring you comfort. I am here, Cloud. I am here...but why do you run the other direction?

A gleam of your blade catches my eye and I run to where you are. You are making your way back to Gongaga, dragging the buster sword carelessly behind you, eyes cast down to the ground.

"Cloud..."

"It's over, Tifa," you say, not once turning to my direction.

I walk closer to you. "Cloud, what happened?"

You shake your head. "Nothing," you deadpanned. "Let's just get this done and over with."

"Where's Aeris?" I ask.

You look at me this time, eyes swollen, face dirt-stricken. "She's gone," it was hardly any louder than a whisper.

You resume walking. I place a gloved hand over yours and you stop your feet from covering further distance. "Let's look for her," I tell you.

You shake your head and continue your pace.

I place a tentative hand on your shoulder. "I'm here, Cloud. I'll listen."

"So listen and listen well," you say harshly as you turn to me with obvious irritation. "I'm a fucking monster. It's my fault Vincent's dying. It's my fault why Aeris will die. It's my fault that everything is so fucked up and no matter what you say it's not going to change the fact that I'm losing the woman I love!"

I shake my head at how pitiful you seem with your words. "What are you talking about? Can you hear yourself, Cloud? Stop blaming yourself for everything."

"Then who do I blame? Time? Fate? I came back but I couldn't do anything right," you say. "You don't know what's going on, you have no right to tell me what to do. So just go away, I don't want to see any of you."

I am angry now. Never before have you spoken rude words to me. "Then tell me! You never talk to me, how can I know if you won't tell me?"

"You want to know everything? This is everything," you spit out. "I'm a fucking experiment, one of Sephiroth's clones, infused with cells from Jenova. I'm a horrible monster! I let my best friend die. I let the woman I love die. I killed Sephiroth thrice but that bastard just won't fucking give up. We live in Edge and you want nothing more than for us to be a family but I can't settle for that so I left. I came back in time to be with Aeris and now I'm losing her all over again and right now I could die and I won't mind."

I feel the pain lacing your words, notice the way your eyes cast downwards every time you mention your dreadful state. You have been shrouded with strife all your life and now is no different. I couldn't fully comprehend what you just said but I know it all boils down to one fact...you love her too much. I bite my lip at the searing pain of jealousy that has invaded upon this thought.

"You haven't lost her yet," I say.

"You don't know that," you shrug me off, continuing your way towards town.

I run to your front and stop you. "Then you'll go moping around like you always do? You'll just give up? She's out there and she may be in danger and you will just give up, just like that? What the hell is wrong with you?"

You just ignore me and continue your way.

"You make mistakes, you learn from them. You fall, you stand up again. This is not you, Cloud. Why give up now when there is still much you have to do?"

"Leave. Me. Alone." You snarl as you sidestep to avoid me. You walk faster this time.

I ball my hands to fists. Someone needs to knock some sense back into your head and fast. I won't stand being ignored and pushed into the background anymore. It is time you listen. It is time I make you listen. And I know of only one way to get your full attention.

I run towards you and with a quick hand that you do not have the presence of mind to dodge, I throw you to the ground as I kick your legs beneath you. You fall on your back and I take this opportunity to pin you to the ground.

"You know I won't leave you alone. You should know by now there is nothing you can do to get rid of me. You can ignore me, leave me, pretend that I don't exist all you want but you'll never get rid of me. Not until you get some sense back into that thick skull of yours," I tell you.

You are breathing heavily. "You think this is easy for me? You think it's easy to accept my defeat?"

"You haven't lost!" I shout. "This isn't a game. There are so many things we still have to do. We have Aeris to protect, a planet to save. Don't you dare give up now."

"I'll fucking kill Sephiroth to save this damned planet if that's what you want," you shout back at me.

"How about Aeris? You'll just give up on her like that? I thought you...I thought..."

_I thought you love__ her..._

You shake your head. "I can't do anything. She abhors me. She hates me and she's dying. There's nothi-"

Shutupshutupshutup!

I slam my fist to the ground a mere inch from your head, the ground echoing with the strength of my punch. "Shut up, Cloud. Think hard of what you're going to say next or I won't think twice about knocking your teeth off," I threaten, hoping you can see the determination in my eyes.

Silence stretches between us for the longest time until you speak again. "Help me, Tifa," you whisper. "Help me save her. Please. I can't do it alone. Help me...like you always do."

I nod slowly. "I've got your back, remember?"

"Thank you," you whisper. As I stare into your mako eyes I feel the world shatter around us. I couldn't help but lean closer, the pull of your gaze sending me to a world that only consists of us. I have wanted to do this for so long. Have dreamt of this far too many times to ignore the need I feel in my heart. I lean closer and closer and...

_This is wrong..._

I close my eyes before I get lost any further in your eyes. I get off of you as fast as I can. Wish as I may, I'm not the one in your heart. I could pretend all I want but it's not going to change the facts. I feel my eyes start to well with tears as I walk away.

I hear you call after me. I stop momentarily.

"I'm sorry, Tifa. I just couldn't stay with you in Edge."

"It's alright, Cloud, it's okay," I appease your revolting spirit. I do not fully understand what you are talking about but right now I know that you can never commit a sin I could not forgive. I love you, Cloud, and for you there is nothing I could not be.

* * *

**Aeris:**

With every step I take further into the woods, I feel my guts revolt and the weight in my chest double. I have a duty, a duty I must do no matter what. I have decided long ago that the planet will always come first, but why do I suddenly feel that what I am doing is wrong? Why has everything gone out of hand the moment you came? Why do I suddenly think twice about saving the planet because I am afraid it will bring you pain?

You have suffered way too much already, but why do I bring you even more pain? You're just confused, just pressured and even though I have known you've been suffering I have left you still. You have nothing but good intentions, have wanted nothing but the safety of the group yet I accuse you of being selfish. If we're both suffering right now it's not entirely your fault. I, too, am at fault. I love you but I'm afraid I haven't done my part. All you want from me is my understanding and I have deprived you of it when you need it most. If you've done wrong by doing too much then I have done wrong by doing too little.

I am confused too, you see? I don't know what the right course of action is. Is this right? Is leaving you to ensure the planet's safety the right course to take? Or should I just come back to you and forget everything that has been threatening to keep us apart?

What do I do, where do I go? I don't know the answer and I couldn't help but cry.

As the voices lead me to the end of the forest, my feet come to a halt. Even as I stare at the beautiful horizon my thoughts still come back to you. Why am I here? Why am I here when I promised you I'd never leave? I'd never go anywhere alone, right? I promised that to you so many times yet I am here, alone, planning to go far away without you.

I couldn't take another step. My heart won't let me. I made a promise. You need me, you need me now more than ever. And I need you.

_'__You'll understand, right? A little delay won't matter, __would it?'_I tell the voices in my head as I turn to run back.

Wait for me, Cloud, I am sorry I ever doubted. I am sorry I almost let go. There's no getting off the train we're on, right? I promise I'd be there with you until the end of the road.

* * *

**Cloud:**

It's eight in the morning when I hear violent pounding on my door. "You planning to sleep all day, you spikey fool?!" Barret shouts through the door as he mercilessly pounds on it. I have only arrived an hour earlier from our search, Tifa and I have decided after several hours of fruitless search that we had to go back to get some sleep before the group continues the journey towards the Forgotten City. I haven't had a decent sleep in days and in my state of emotional havoc, Barret's tirade against the door is the last of my needs. I reluctantly get up, the soil and dirt from the previous night still clinging to my clothes and skin. I did not have the strength to even make use of a shower.

"What?!" I open the door to find the Avalanche leader looking at me with a disapproving gaze.

"The sun's already way up! We're on a schedule, we've got a planet to save and yer still sleeping your ass off?! We don't have all fuckin' day!" Barret starts. The man can come up with a litany of all the things he thinks I'm doing wrong if he wants to.

I let out a deep breath. "I'm coming, quit your yelling," I say right before I close the door to his face.

Barret does not depart without leaving an angry kick at my door. It's the usual. Somehow, we always manage to get on each other's nerves. I stare at the bed as I press my back on the door. I imagine you in it, wrapped within the sheets, grinning at me as I sigh in relief because of another close call. 'One of these days, we're really gonna get caught,' you'll always say and I'll come to you with a kiss and say, 'then you should really stop following me here.' You'll narrow your eyes at me and we'll argue playfully about who started it first, who suggested it, who forced who to cast sleep magic on Tifa and Yuffie before sneaking out, who coaxed Nanaki to sleep on the couch outside and other childish, sometimes even desperate, things we do to be together right under their noses. And somehow, even though you fear so much of being walked in on, you always stay until the break of dawn. In the morning, you're always gone, silently tucked in your own bed as if nothing happened at all.

I let my lips curve up at the memory before I tear my eyes off the empty bed. Will there be more of such memories? I couldn't help but wonder. But you're gone now...you've left me. Left me to wallow and ponder on the improbable future I've planned for us, to remember how lonely the future will be without you by my side. I shake my head to get rid of the nostalgic atmosphere that has invaded and make my way to get a much needed shower.

A few minutes later I walk into the kitchen to find Tifa smiling widely at me with a knowing gleam on her eyes. "Good morning, Cloud," she greets me, still with that wide grin on her face. "Your breakfast is ready."

I step back warily. "What's going on?" I ask.

"You'll see," she says as she pushes me with a martial artist's ease right into the dining hall.

My jaw almost drops as I realize what's going on. I take tentative steps, afraid that I will wake up and realize that it's just my imagination getting the better of me.

My throat is dry but I manage to get a word out. "Aeris?"

You slowly turn around to gaze at me with your warm emerald eyes and for a quick second, I think I'm going to cry.

* * *

**Aeris:**

The night sky is a black blanket of stars. The branches of white ghostly trees catching the moonlight and trapping it within its hungry grasp. Everything in the city is crystal-like, white, ghostly and pallid amidst the dark.

I place a comforting hand on your shoulder, "what's the matter, Cloud?"

I follow your thoughtful gaze. You're staring at the placid lake of the Forgotten City, looking at it with awe and fear. You've been gloomier the moment we stepped into the city, have been looking at everything with doleful eyes.

You shake your head. "Nothing, let's hurry," you say as you walk to follow the others.

I fix my eyes on the lake. It seems like an emerald blanket of silk, so very still, so very quiet. So very dead. I feel the way it calls on me, feel the goose bumps form on my skin as I stare. The lake is full of stories, a stark contrast from the way it seems. It holds a lot of secrets, of memories of loss and despair. It beckons me to be part of its mystery, demands that my memories meld with its own.

_Not yet._

"Not yet," I murmur before I turn away and run after you.

I am not surprised that you are familiar with the place. You lead us to a little cozy house, show the group the much appreciated beds. We'll stay here, you say, everyone's tired and we can afford one more day. I lay sleepless on the bed I share with Yuffie. I just couldn't sleep with all the voices in my head and with the tension I feel in my chest. I slowly sit up and try to focus my eyes in the darkness.

You cannot sleep too, I can tell. I can feel your fear envelope the whole room and I know your heart is being torn to shreds because of it. I take my blanket and tiptoe my way to where you lay on the cold, hard floor.

I kneel down beside you and you raise a hand to tuck loose strands of my hair behind my ear. "Why aren't you sleeping?" you ask.

I smile. "Why aren't you?"

You don't answer.

I lie down next to you and place my head on your chest. I hear your heartbeat and I hug your fearful self. Hush your heart, Cloud...you haven't lost me yet.

I embrace you as I close my eyes. "Don't fear, Cloud. I'm right here," I whisper. You embrace me tight and I feel my own eyes start welling. So much is waiting to happen. So many choices have to be made. Even until now I'm still confused and apprehensive but for right now I need you to know I am here and there's nowhere else I'd rather be.

I place my hand over your tainted eyes and pray. I implore the Higher being to give you beautiful dreams, those of happiness and peace. You're tired and you're worried sick...you need a break from all that's been happening. So close your eyes and dream of delightful things.

Sleep, Cloud, for tomorrow I pray for Holy.

* * *

**Cloud:**

I wake up to find your blanket wrapped around me and with you nowhere in sight. I feel terror suddenly creep in. I get up immediately, afraid of the thoughts that have suddenly befallen my mind. It's still dark, night and day still in a struggle. I make my way outside with my buster sword strapped to my back. Where have you gone? Why do you always keep me struggling with my heart in my mouth?

I go to the altar to find no signs of you. I return to the house to find you're still not there. I find you near the lake, staring at it as you hug yourself. I let out a sigh of relief.

"Aeris..."

You turn to me with a cheerless look on your eyes. "Good morning, Cloud," you greet me as you force a smile and then return your gaze to the lake.

"What are you doing here?" I ask.

You do not answer.

I step closer to you and place a hand on your shoulder. "It's cold here, you might get..."

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" you interrupt me. "The lake, it's beautiful."

I look at the lake and memories of you sinking into its depths come back to me. I look away. "Yeah..."

"The city too, it's a bit...different, even scary, but it's beautiful," you state.

I nod.

"The voices say this city has been blessed by the ancients. It's where the ancients used to dwell, where they lived, where they died..." you continue, sadness reflecting in your whole stature. "I'm home, Cloud, this is the place closest to home."

No, you're not. Your home is with me...not in this city, not here in this dark, scary place where you once died, not where such ugly memories reside.

You fix your gaze at the water again, "it's been calling me. Ever since we got here." You turn to me. "I think I want to know why."

Before I can protest, you've already discarded your jacket and have walked into the water. I watch as the lake slowly swallows your legs and seeps into your dress. You turn back towards me and motions for me to join you in the water.

I shake my head.

You smile at me sadly. "Just this once..." you say as your lips tremble in the cold and already I do not have the heart to say no.

I follow you into the lake, noticing for the first time how cold its water is. I've been in this water before, have walked into it to let you sink into your watery grave. There are no good memories in this lake, only those of heartache and pain. I've seen the lake countless times, have gone here over and over again to stare at the clear waters that holds the corporal manifestation of the planet's hope. I have memorized it like the back of my hand, the stones that scattered near the shore, the mesmerizing sight it gives at the coming of dawn, the deafening silence it holds. And yet now that I walk into it and let its water envelope me for a second time, it's nothing I've ever known before.

"I hear the planet clearly here," you start as I stop wading a few steps away from you. The water is freezing, almost intolerable, making you shiver as you speak. "The voices...they're louder here...in these waters," you pause as if to listen. "They're telling me a lot of things. They...they tell me I belong here. "

I don't know what to say. I don't agree but I can't tell you this. Don't listen to the voices, Aeris. The voices are taking you away from me.

"Let's go back," my voice is low and commanding.

"Why? You don't like it here?"

I shake my head. "I don't like this place, this lake..." This lake, especially.

"I don't like this place either. I've always had dreams about this place, ever since I was young...I've watched myself sink into its depths...down where it's cold, dark and scary," you say. "I've always been afraid of these waters, Cloud."

I feel my heartbeat quicken its pace. You and this lake, it just doesn't fit. Not when there's still so much life in your eyes, not when I'd do anything to make you stay.

You smile at me, genuinely this time. "But with you here, it's not so scary anymore."

I stare at you as your smile fades and is replaced by something darker. You look down, the wisps of your auburn hair catching the early rays of sunlight. "I want to keep my promises, Cloud. I really do. But when the time comes that I should leave..."

I close in the gap between us and pull your head to my chest, making waves and ripples with every movement. "Shh...don't say such things."

As I hold you I recall painful memories of carrying you in my arms, limp and lifeless in the water as it slowly engulfs you in its deathly embrace. Silent. Bleeding. Dead.

"The voices have never lied to me before," you murmur into my chest. You pull away a fraction to stare into my eyes. "I want you to promise me one thing, Cloud..."

I shake my head. I'll love you. Today, tomorrow, for always. That's the only promise I'll ever make.

You lift your arms and place it around my neck. You press your cold lips to my ear and softly whisper words that make me shiver in utter fear.

_"...__promise me you'll __let me go."_

* * *

**Tifa:**

Silence has fallen upon us, deep and suffocating like the way time presses on each of us. With every second that passes, the hammering in my chest grows louder. We are all waiting for something, for something that can come any time, in any way, in a second that could make all the difference between life and death.

From my position in front and nearest the altar, I could see Barret and Yuffie watching the altar from the upper floor by the stones. Barret's frown is noticeable even at this distance, his eyes wandering around the expanse of the edifice, intent on finding anything amiss. Yuffie is sitting with her legs folded in front of her, her pinwheel in hand. Come any commotion, the ninja is ready to throw her weapon and jump from up high.

Cid is only a few distance away from me, watching the right side of the altar as he puffs his cigarette and holds his spear tightly in hand. Red, the one with the keenest senses, is the only one moving about, trying to pinpoint the location of the danger waiting to pounce.

Cait Sith is huddled in the space nearest you, Cloud. He is Aeris' first line of defense against you. Having a body of a toy and his master several miles away, his body is the most expendable one. One whose physique is wide enough to block you for some time and one that would not bleed and die with your slash. If we're lucky, he'd never figure out why he's there, just right in front of you, with no other designation than to try to stop you if you move without Sephiroth in sight.

And you're there, far enough from the altar to be stopped when necessary but near enough to render her the protective services you've once promised. Your lips are pressed together sulkily and your jaw set with a firmness that boasts of determination. You stand straight with your sword in hand and angled towards the ground, breathing evenly even as fear and trepidation hammers at your heart. Your eyes never leave her kneeling form in the altar.

I squeeze my fists in preparation of what is to come, ready to fight for the friends I love. I stare at Aeris kneeling and praying in the altar, mouth set in a thin line and eyes closed like a trusting child.

Danger is coming, counting the seconds as we keep our hearts from falling off the edge. The hourglass has long been turned and the time you've feared is already at hand. There is so much to do with so little time. So much to still fear even when our hearts have long been torn to shreds by the horrors of our past.

We are at our last chance to change the course of fate. The suspense is terrifying and the silence deafening but still we stand our grounds. For the planet's sake and for the life of a dear friend.

Until the need for action arises, we wait.

So we wait...

...and so I wait...

* * *

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